BEING OKAY WITH CHANGE
Good morning friends.
I’ve been thinking about how things become different and what we can do about it.
What is that saying? The only thing you can count on is change. I think there are a few other things you can count on, like God, but for the purpose of this chat, let’s agree that change will happen.
Change can be so tricky. Sometimes we are ready for it and go looking for it and other times we resist and hang on for dear life to what is comfortable, even if it’s not healthy. In different times of our lives we might embrace it more fully or we might stick our head in the sand in denial. As we change with change, we grow, developing new parts of us, hopefully good parts that we are happy to have.
Change might bring frustration, tears, stomping our feet, and flat out it’s not going to happen.
I think it’s valuable to do and feel all those things, acknowledge them, and find a way to release them.
Letting go can bring longing, sadness, heartache for sure.
What got me thinking about all of this was Halloween. As a child, it could be counted on what that magical day would look like – barely making it through the school day, getting home and homework done asap, waiting and waiting for dinner so we could jump into our costumes and tear around the neighborhood, gathering up all the goodies. Our sweet neighbor across the street, Mrs. Emrich always invited the kids she knew into her house to choose a homemade molded chocolate sucker wrapped in cellophane (Hers was the one house we were allowed to go in.) That would be the first stop so we could run home and leave it there safe as we ran up and down the streets.
After everything was inspected and deemed safe, we were finally free to eat all the sugar.
(One more side note – If we got raisins, my mom would stir them into our hot apple cider. Such a fun little memory.)
Anyway, as we raised our kiddos, Halloween looked a lot the same. The school and church parties and parades got added, and we moved a few times so there were new neighborhoods to discover, but overall, things were the same.
This year things may look very different for Halloween.
Everything feels more subdued, with kids waiting to find out what it will look like. Some are not in school to wait through. If they are in class, there probably are not parties or parades. Do they or don’t they go trick-or-treating? On the one hand, it seems like it can be done safely, being outside and avoiding others. On the other hand, staying home with our families, not going up to strange doors is the safer route. And it might not be worth going out if not many neighbors are participating.
I’m not sure how much candy to purchase for trick-or-treaters in my neighborhood. And instead of passing it out, I will most likely put it in a bowl near the sidewalk. Not nearly as much fun, but it’s something.
Which brings me to my point. When things are different, what do we do? We may go through all the icky feelings and then pick ourselves up and make the best of what we’ve got. Or we may spiral down and really struggle with things that are happening to us. It can be stinkin’ hard.
I do not have much in the way of answers. I can offer up that it is valuable to recognize that sometimes change is not what we want, that it may feel like we are out of control, and that things will never be the same. It is important to recognize all of that and mourn, which may take five minutes or much longer.
While the mourning is valuable, don’t stop there. Do something. Really, anything will work. Choosing to do something and making it happen brings some control back to us. The new something may not even be close to the same as the old one, but it’s a start and it could be pretty good. In fact, it could be spectacular. And then do another thing. See where the path takes you. Continue to choose your way through this tricky journey, feeling the feels and deciding to be okay with it. Maybe even better than okay.
Obviously Halloween is not life or death. )Well, not to us anyway. It looks a little different to a ghost or mummy.) I recognize there are huge changes that come into our lives that really turn them upside down. Some are so adventurous or painful we may need help navigating through them. Go get that help. I’m just offering a little self-love perspective here.
Change is a fact. The world changes, others change, we change. Honestly, it’s a good thing. As vulnerable as we may feel sometimes, and we may try to resist it, when we are on the other side, we most likely will see a version of ourselves that’s pretty terrific.
How have you seen yourself grow with change? And what are your plans for Halloween? Let me know!